12/04/08 - Two Hits & He's Out

Another gem from the vault, I wrote this stunning piece of satire on the 4th of December 2008. Wasn't I a pleasant & happy child? It really just reflects on how much I've grown & changed over these years, this time machine is nothing but intriguing.

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 'Two Hits & He's Out' 

I haven't had sex in a minute...or 5. Okay...it feels like years but it's really only been a couple of months since the last round...I think...okay let's not get technical about this cause I have a tendency to forget these things but as I was saying. And I was thinking about it, in depth. Intellectually of course, it's gotten to the point where the very idea of the act disgusts me.

Think about it.

Physically, remove all mental capability from the equation, no one's in love, no one's horny, no one's lonely, no one's anything just basic sex. Kissing them? If you kiss them at all.

When you kiss them and they get all extra into it, they start breathing extremely hard, and put their whole body into it and you open your eyes and look at them with a "Wooooa this is not that serious" face, but they can't see it because their eye's are closed and they're "in" the moment.

Pfft. 'The Moment'.

There is passion, and then there's foolishness. I've been dealing with a lot of the latter lately. Clammy sweaty hands all over your body. Too soft. Too rough. Too there. Awkward. Uncomfortable. GET THE FUCK OFF ME. Fingers.

Don't get me started on the fingers. Trail down to your vagina (I'm going to be as blunt as possible so be warned) And 90% of the time miss the clitoris entirely, especially if they're doing outer underwear action.

Up it from 90% to straight 100%.

Awkwardly rubbing my fucking skin.

Skin, I just shaved.

I try to adjust myself and my body, even move their hands to the right position, but nooooo they 'got it', they're 'experienced'. Some idiots try and move my hands down south to their own little spots, to which they get the "Nigger please" face.

I'm not jacking anybody off, if that is not the definition of tedious and awkward I don't know what the fuck is. God gave you a hand for a reason, I don't see why you have to take mine. If I have to I grip it for a minute to do help with the calculations in my head.

Aside from all the idiocy this is normally where I get a little bit excited. Because in my mind this is where I am supposed to get the sex. But it hardly ever works out that way. 95% of the time foreplay is forced on me when I'm really not feeling it. And I hate having to reciprocate, nigger I did not ASK you to go down on me.

Don't stick your penis in my face and make me feel guilty.

And don't even think about asking for head if you haven't done the deed your damn self. I will (unfortunately) if you will...well that's not entirely true. In some cases, in most no. And speaking of going down, that whole situation as lovely as it feels is incredibly silly. Because a lot of the time, just like with the fingers, they lost it, and are just licking skin. And licking skin...doesn't really feel like anything, but I go along with it, and adjust my hips hoping to alleviate the problem.

When the diver comes up for the air is always once of the most traumatic experiences for me. I don't know why I dislike it so much. Maybe it's the way they look at me afterwards. A lot of them linger. And just stare at me. And try to wipe their mouths off all manly and shit. There is no way to be manly after you just spent 10-20 minutes on your knees, I almost always fight the urge to laugh around this time.

It's always a little bit too much for most.

A fucking waterfall.

 There have been various code names used to refer this. I.e.:

Thundercat, Bricks, Puddle etc. etc.

 So the deep see diver comes up for air to review his spoils. Most of the time they expect me to be out of breath, and rabid with passion and I never fail to act the part, most of the time I'm thinking "For gods sake just fuck me already, bloody hell!"

Then they move in to kiss me. Now a lot of females out there claim to not kiss a dude after he's been -insert whichever phrase you'd like to use to describe the act here- but that's completely ridiculous. Grow the hell up, it's your own fucking body. If you're not comfortable enough with it you shouldn't be having sex at all.

Move in to kiss me, and normally insert some silly little sexy whisper here like;

"God you're so sexy"
"You like that London?"
"Who's your daddy?" (Crack kills)
"You're amazing"
"You're so beautiful"

Yada, yada, yada. If you haven't picked on it already, I don't take sex at all seriously. And I normally just smile and laugh because I hate talking when I'm waiting for the grand finale. I hate talking in general, but I always seem to pick up the fucking yakkers. After the silly little whisper, the business hopefully goes down.

They back up and position themselves, I patiently wait, trying not to get annoyed as they slip and miss. Oops, hope he didn't catch the eye roll.

Oh there it's in.

Depending on the size, my gratification varies. If it's fucking monstrous, I just have to concentrate on it and ignore him entirely. I do that a lot. Ignore him I mean. I'm not interested in what he's doing, or what he's saying. I just need to feel it.

To feel like I'm still human.

Feel that warmth in the my stomach for those five brief seconds when it first goes in. Then the feelings gone, and I open my eyes, and there's this idiot on top of me. Time to put on a show. I squirm, I moan, I grip, I bite. I laugh, I gyrate my hips, I try and excite every single sense available. This is a performance after all, gotta get this done quick, get my grade & be out. Positions switch, and if the dude is man enough, I go on top.

A lot of the time with the newbies, they don't trust me on top. I'm overwhelming them enough as it is and they don't want to test their luck. On top? My best score ever. I like to turn around most of the time, so I'm not facing the victim, it makes things less complicated, and I find much more peaceful for me.

I can do whatever I want without that annoying sense of being watched. I hate sex stalkers. You know, when they stare at you faaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr too much during the act. God I'm not in love with you, quit that shit. On top. I have the most fun. Because I can always try something new. It's like I just got this new toy to play with, who has a thousand buttons and can make a thousands sounds each time you press one.

This is where I learn the most about the person I'm dealing with.

And this is normally where we finish. I like to exploit weaknesses, during sex. Especially when I'm on top...I like...winning. Because I never have an orgasm. I'm pretty sure it's physically impossible for me during sex. Trust me I've had enough of it to know.

So when their Air Force One takes off I feel like my mission has been accomplished and they can get the fuck out.

Reading over this, and thinking about it all over again. I don't even know why I had sex in the first place. I basically equate this bitch to a game of fucking Cluedo. It's a good thing I've quit. I wasn't helping anyone with that sort of behavior.

Especially not the girl friends.

02/27/09 - "Honesty" & 10/11/08 - Blazing

I wrote these two pieces more than 2 years ago now, on the 27th of February 2009 & the 11th of October 2008. I googled myself today & found my ARTST profile, along with these gems. This was all before I smoked. The seeds that these great oaks in my mind grew out of are all here. History, can be so beautiful at times.

That is only if you choose to learn from it.

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'Honesty'

It's raining, hard. Pitter, patter, pitter, patter.

You ever think that maybe I'm not the crazy one but you're just the stupid one? A human being that has closed off all all other understandings and possibilities in this world/universe/dimension aside from his own limited one.

Ever entertain the idea that my ramblings aren't mad? But honest and blatant truth you fail to comprehend?

No?

That's why you're there and I'm here. That's why you'll die and I won't.

It's tough you know?

Being aware of all this bullshit but breathing it all in still, because after all, what other choice do I have? Until something better makes itself known I'm stuck on this planet with you.

Stuck in this world, created on another world.
Stuck in all this fallacy.

Ever look at a building and think about the fact that the earth, the land, and all the resources that went into making that building have come to us with no price for their services? That building could be free.

That building IS free.

But because of our own laws, rules and statutes we limit ourselves, and this earth. What right do we have to limit a fucking planet? What right do we have to push our useless laws onto anything else? What right did we have to make them?

I don't need a punishment to deter me from doing evil.

Whether jail was on the line or not, my ass won't kill shit. Ever think that it's all these laws that spawn even more of the evil we try so very hard to combat?

No?

That's why you're there and I'm here. That's why you'll die and I won't.

That's why I can sit here, stick up this finger, smile and say.

 Fuck you.

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'Blazing' 

I want to endure forever.

Past this life, I want to remember.
I want to remember this feeling.

Laying in the middle of my bedroom floor searching for something more in my heart.

In my head.

I want virtue, honestly, love and compassion.
From myself.

I want to be an example of truth. I want to be a true manifestation of his honesty.
I want to be walking with a clean spirit and mind.

My heart...my head put to rest.

I want to wake up in the morning and think not of man but instead of this universe. Of the stars, the suns, the planets, the future of it all.

I want to have the power to show you your mistakes. I want to help you realize more of yourself.

Because you are not real. You are not you.

You are only want you wish to be, not what he has made you.

Look the mirror. What do I see? Only what I choose to. I want to open my eyes wide enough to see what he has made. To see himself in my body, in this flesh, and perhaps see my very soul.

Perhaps finally understand the importance of my existence and then realize the futility of everything I have created for it.

Perhaps see the truth in how polluted I've become.

So when I close my eyes, and those bright colors accost me once more, my fear will have left me and I'll finally allow it to take over.

Finally understand what he meant for us in the end.

In the beginning.
In the next.

Did you know that I exist before the earth?
And did you know my eyes are windows to this world?

There is more than this. That much I know.

Everything you have created for yourself is bullshit. It is not real, it will not last, put no stock in it, have no faith in the collective works of humanity for no good will come of flesh.

Exist past this.
Transcend all.

Gypsy Franklyn Vol. 7

does your confidence ever gets misconstrued as ego?

By those unable to understand self acceptance, most certainly. But then. That ain't my business is it?

Ask me anything

ur so lucky... i have all the material things but not people who love me.what would you advice somebody who feels depressed and miserable and would just like to end it all :'(

Fuck people. Love yourself. Your misery & depression has nothing to do with them, all with you, you must enact a change in perception of yourself & this world. Understand that you, are all you have, you are your home & learn to love the fuck out of it.

This will attract other's of like mind. Who only seek positivity & joy, as you will learn to, you must fashion these things all yourself, from the center of your own miraculous core.

Only then can true love, friends, family, existence, manifest.

Ask me anything

Apologies for defeating the purpose, this isn't a question. :$. I have a few friends that know you, and all say you are lovely. I wanted to sincerely wish you THE VERY BEST in your future endeavours; I pray you are blessed with every good thing. :)

Thank you so much for this kindness.
Peace be unto you.

Ask me anything

If you HAD to choose a job what would it be? And with job I mean a regular nine to five not acting, singing, dancing, modeling or being an "artist". Not trying to hate just a real question. your very blessed not everybody can read, write and shop all day.

I don't have to. This question is pointless. If I HAD to choose a job it'd probably be unemployment. Because I want to do everything, & if I can't do that, I don't want anything. I'd be fine simply existing. I won't do anything I won't enjoy doing & I refuse to limit myself.

My reading & my writing? Tie into all aspects of life that I am interested in. Which include Theology, Psychology, Philosophy & Ancient History. My being an "artist" is simply an amalgamation of every single facet of every single interest. My creative sensibilities happen to simply be talents, hobbies in fact, they certainly do not constitute a definition of my entire person. I happen to pretty enough to model, I happen to be a brilliant dancer, I happen to be lovely lyrically, I happen to be very good at acting. But that certainly isn't all of me dear. It's just what God gave me free of charge.

I simply choose not to limit myself.

But to appease whatever stubbornness you might have in regards to this arena? If I HAD TO CHOOSE, it'd be a Philosopher.

But that isn't exactly a 9 to 5 is it? I'm afraid I can't adhere to those rules.

Besides, at this particular time, I don't have a work visa for Saudi Arabia. I am here to learn Arabic & spend time with my mother.

So read, write & shop I shall continue to do.

Amen.

Ask me anything

Do you really believe in the Bible?

This Bible is not God. So it isn't really a matter of believing IN it, it is not a separate entity by any means. It is a confusing & muddled piece of historical poetry. I believe that you can find God wherever you look, if that is your intention. The Bible is obviously wrought with thousands of years of censorship & man made ego, but that does not discount some truths that managed to survive the blasphemous veneration of Man.

It is simply a matter of filtering the water that has been poisoned by thousands of years of Ego.

I believe in it's foundation, which is the God of Abraham, so in the same breath I believe in the foundation of the Qur'an & the Torah. I believe it is meant to be taken symbolically & the problem with modern man lies in taking it too literally. It is certainly not known for it's historical accuracy & to argue for it from such a stand point would simply be ignorant of me. It has it's uses & I have found, when reading it of my own accord, I have found the same peace in some of it's words that I find in the Dhammapada, the Dasam Granth, the Qu'ran & the Torah.

Ask me anything

"I'm mackin' b"

How Could I?

I got some new bulbs for the lamp in my room, it provides this dim & warm glow, the kind that reminds me of weed smoke & naked skin, Blu spitting about love in the background, the eternal transference of God between two bodies. My hearts in a warm place. The energy feels ethereal. This light makes my skin look ready for combining some DNA.

But I'm alone. Well not really. My heart is still beating so obviously I have company. Whatever keeps me hooked up to Planet Earth is always with me. Lonely is an illusion.

Frigid air blows on my nipples, the idea of a contrast cuddles my thoughts, warm air from another Being flowing down my back. Large hands gripping my thighs, a mouth blessing the crook of my neck.

"Selasie. Selasie. Selasie."

Memories filter through, this ambience is perfect for nostalgia, it almost demands it. Only ever think of the past when it's pertinent to the present & these memories are more than pertinent. They're art. No pain. All glory. Golden skin against my brown.

Unbeknownst to me it seems as though I prefer a mixture of various races. I like the color of all the races mixed & matched on the campus that is man. The various tones & hues intoxicate me. Fascinates me. All men in one package. A great deal indeed.

This light has my mind traveling miles. Hands all over me. Gripping me like I could disappear at any moment. Like I don't even exist. Like I'm a figment of his precious imagination that I hope never dies. That in me will never die. I'm the match to that fire.

A black hole of a slow burn.

Swallow all.

"Never forget me."

So you will be coming to europe next year! Thats nice are you coming to study, work or as you would say "chill". I am suprised your travelplans do not include a stop over here in Amsterdam (you know why hihih). Love ur attitude...

A little bit of everything, I plan on taking a few courses here & there, but my hearts desire is to travel Europe by train, I will stay in the UK as it is my home base & my little cousins are both pre-teens now, I feel as though my presence is needed, I am their only true cousin & I was raised with them when they were babies, it is equally as important to me to be there during these years. Plus I've missed my birthplace terribly. & thank you kindly for your love.

Ask me anything

what brand of make up do you use please? you're beautiful. I don't know you & I already adore your person.

Thank you for your positive energy, I adore it just as much & to answer your question I don't generally wear make up, or at least, not enough to have a particular brand in mind for you. I cannot stand foundation or powder or anything of that sort, it aggravates my skin & causes reactions so my skin is always bare. I solely employ the use of mascara, eyeliner & lipstick if & when I choose too. & any kind will do, but lately I've picked up the habit of favoring Rimmel London for those specific products.

Ask me anything

Further Away.

Nowadays I'm quite content within myself, even more so than I already was, this feeling of satisfaction has flooded all aspects of my life. It feels as though I have let go of all that used to define me & only look to one source for the understanding of my core. It is not my skin color, it is not my descent, it is not my sexual preference, it is not my sex, it is simply my existence.

My Being.

That is all I need.

This peace enables me to live in silence. Things I felt imperative to share before, things I could not hold within, my impulsive longing to share examples of my few glimpses of the same serenity are now gone from my mind, body & spirit.

I suddenly relish secrets. Information about myself that no one else really needs to know, whether it be a sudden connection born with another human being, or the glistening array of my thoughts, they are my own harvest to enjoy at my own dinner table. Everything seems more magnified now when I keep it to myself. The past is still convenient to penn about, my heart is still a beautiful thing to display within my art, but it is only a translation of my secrets, a coded language only I can truly decipher, my art should be in fact a mirror for others to see their own reflection in, to see their own truths magnified within mine. I am to be a portal, but in my creation I have my own little quirks known only to my specific strand of DNA.

There are so many different forms of transparency & my own is in fact the division of it that is without shame.

Shame: (Noun) A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.

I have done wrong to no one but myself in these 21 years, but I have forgiven my youth & my foolishness, grown to love every lesson learned with the understanding that without those trails I would not be here today. I would never have gotten to taste the peace of these still waters with out treading through the valley of fire.

So what I have I learned?

I have learned that everything is imaginary.
Your thoughts create your world.
Your pain, your suffering.
Everything is in perception.

Most live in a constant refusal to accept the reality that Is their Now. Thinking they are able to control any aspect of this life outside of the dominion of their constantly straying thoughts, they live under the false assumption of complete control of all outside of them, without realizing all they truly have is their Self's.

No matter the life situation you can choose whether to smile or lament.
Knowing one will help ease the trouble of the situation while the other will only exacerbate it.
Life does not happen to you.
You happen to life.

Yes, almost everything is out of your control, but you choose whether to live on your knees or die on your feet & then stand up, face this reality with courage & resilient joy & realize....

There is no death.

Your world is so small. How on earth do you fit?

Things of the flesh bore me incredibly now more so than ever. Seeing woman rely so heavily on their ability to ensnare & consume unknowing victims & use it as a stake to claim some form of power bores me even more. I mean, is that what we're really here for? To eat men? To be cannibals? To turn this into a competition of who is the strongest?

I mean, for fucks sake what is a Female King if not a sorry doppleganger of an already failed system?

"Women who want what men have know nothing of ambition"

The whole stereotype is just as tedious as the disastrous ideology that is feminism. The entire affair is just sickeningly redundant, but their entire existence is born in it, their sense's of Self are engrained in the slope of their breasts or the sexual desire they give birth to in the opposite sex, it's all so dreadfully limiting to me.

Why? What for? What purpose does this all serve?

Your Spirit is unisex.

It is just another Will to Power, just another form of ultimate weakness. If you cannot find strength in any other manner outside of oppressing others than it simply reflects your own barrenness in that regard.

You mock the prisoners by shackling yourself to them.

I do not know why they believe that they will get away with all of their unnecessary antics, their spiritual murders, their intentional emasculations, as though they think karma will overlook them because they wield a vagina, because they can at any point stand up & play the victim, but that is only when you work from an understanding that the system already in place is what is supposed to be in power.

You fight a stereotype based on massive & cavernous rampaging misconception & instead of perhaps trying to find an existence outside of the limitations they have given to you, you, well intentioned of course, turn their label into another weapon to use against them.

It's really just a matter of the lust to power the lust to power begets.

The strong oppress the weak, the weak oppress the strong, but when on earth will it all end?

Perhaps I find this all too difficult to understand because to put it simply, I grew out of this, I realized that these games held no true fulfillment, that in working under their definitions of me, I destroyed me. I suppose I truly am blessed in regards to the development of my body, I was by all means a late bloomer, so I had far more years to exist outside of that horrific stereotype men so easily push us into as soon as we become "desirable".

I am not limited by the box, because my mind did not develop underneath it's constraints.

My body is fairly androgynous & so most often than not it has been my spirit that has intoxicated those who sought me, never my breasts or my curves, my physiology was perhaps an extra, there has always been something about "Me". Not my body. I can say it's because I'm beautiful but the world is full of beautiful women, who very clearly never have the effect on men I at times seem to.

If I so choose to.

But again, I find it all very unnecessary. In these "cannibalistic" antics you force yourself to draw a line, to differentiate yourself from your "prey" & then your mind from your body. You need not speak, you need to express any sort of psychological ability, just flash some cleavage in the right dress & that's that.

Doesn't that bore you?

You're simply a piece of meat, there is no true power in that. You reign over complete morons, there is no honor in such.

A Female King to be sure.

But what dignity is there in what you so eagerly choose to rule?

There is no challenge, no battle, no fight.

Everything is an illusion. This great war you claim to wage, is an illusion.

We are all created by the same God.

There is no difference underneath our epidermis, the same fire lights us all.

Is this not unnecessary?

Is this not the epitome of superfluity?

Redundancy, my cup runneth over.

Zion knows no sex, no color, no difference between our lights.
This is the world I live in.
This is the peace I seek.

Gypsy Franklyn Vol. 21

Have you noticed any difference at all in your physiological functions since you halted smoking weed? (Whether it be good or bad.)

Nope.

Ask me anything

Silent Thoughts

Think of how you "hear" your thoughts, what sense is that? There is no audible sound noted, but there is an illusion, if I might be so bold, of hearing none the less. You hear them in the confines of your mind. But never use the actual physical sense of hearing akin to the physiology of your auditory senses.

A silent sound. Or perhaps it is audible to all, or it could be audible to all if the plane is unlocked. If the area these thoughts reside in demand use of another set of senses natural to us entirely. Obviously we are all capable of hearing our thoughts, we all share the universal ability, it is the same plane. But the thoughts of another are never audible to me.

It leads me to further questions of the subconscious, does it perhaps work like a universal network? When I am asleep & it is fully in control does it have the power to make itself known to others who reside in the same realm? How does it become aware? Or has it always been? Has my conscious limited it in anyway? Is there a balance of both within me? Or is the power of my conscious still too strong? Or has it relinquished hold of our cohabitation to allow my subconscious free reign when it needs it?

My subconscious is purely oral, it records nothing for my conscious to draw back to, no typography of anything. Only audio & visual stimulation. Like those fables of our ancient ancestors who existed before written word. Was there ever a time the network the individual subconscious worked in was open to every & all working in the same field? Could they still connect today?

I feel a great power within me lying in wait, simply biding it's time until I discover it, I feel this ability present. But my mind, my ears, the channel to the inaudible sounds of others are blocked from my understanding at this present moment in time.

Today I dreamt of being unblocked. A man was speaking to me & I could hear nothing he said, as a result he stuck a straw in one ear & blew an entire world out, the liquid that accompanied it poisoned him. These thoughts on silent thoughts suddenly make this dream much clearer. I was traveling somewhere, perhaps to this plane that has been yet to be discovered by my conscious?

I know myself in my conscious understanding. I think of my subconscious as a greater version of me, my conscious diluted for the world's consumption but my subconscious exists completely concentrated.

Is it fiery? Is it kind? Wise? Stubborn? Impatient? Unintelligible? Or is it simply waiting for me to make a formal introduction. For me to accept my Being as a perfect amalgamation of the two?

This unknown power that we take for granted, the power to "hear" without physically employing the use of our ears is a clear sign of the psychic mastery that could possibly await us.

The most obvious sign of all perhaps.

A Book List For "Beginners"

A few days ago I was asked to create a book list for my readers who are looking to become more conscious, conscious of what you ask? That is for you to decide, I know that in my experience the following books helped open my mind to the limitless possibilities of this existence.

To me, reading, is sort of like traveling, you better yourself with sights, sounds & feelings you were not previously aware of, you voyage to new lands bathed in new understanding all within the confines of the gift that is your mind.

Your nourish your Self.

So with that being said my plan is to monthly post 3 books that I have read that provided brilliant wood for the fire that burns within. I choose 3 because I do not want to overload my audience by any means, but I am requested to post more I will have no qualms in doing so. I hope these titles open your eyes to diamonds within yourself.

Feel free to contact me in any way you see fit for further discussion on any of these pieces, I would greatly enjoy fresh insight on what so grew me. Debates are always welcome.

Ignorance? Is not.

1. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

2. The Autobiography of Malcolm X as told to Alex Haley.

3. Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman.

So there you have it for your first 3.

Again, feel free to discuss.

Seek & you shall find.

All Praise Be Unto The Most High.

Amen.

Why is that we can't access your facebook through your blog?

I don't have a facebook.

Ask me anything

I love your blog we run a magazine called Pulse Magazine Based in Accraand we're about to launch also in London. We wish to invite you to write for us. Thanks Jojo

This isn't very professional of you, I must say. Which promotes me to decline your offer. However splendid it may be. Thank you for the consideration & the recognition of my blog. Perhaps another time.

Ask me anything