I like sex. I love sex. What else is there to say after that? I'm an incredibly sexual being, I don't know when I crossed the line from adorable to stupendously sexy but hey I'm here now, might as well get used to it. Apparently when presented with all aspects of my being I get even sexier, like when my thoughts are melded in with my appearance and the audience, whoever that might be, is now fully aware of both of my strengths my sex appeal only multiplies exponentially.
I was told I was intimidating because of this.
I draw so much pleasure from that idea, but that's just the chess player in me, that's what I've decided to call it. Chess Player. I love observing human beings, their motives, their actions I watch so intently without anyone realizing it, and without meaning to insult you're all quite predictable at this point. And I enjoy that, it's knowledge to me, and knowledge is power.
It's easier to fight a current if you know which way it's flowing. There's no sense in being lost. I like power. It's sort of cult leader-ish of me, but my intentions aren't evil so I don't see it in such a negative way. I'm a natural born leader I suppose.
But then in the same breathe, as I say all of this, I yearn for equals, people of like minds, a small group I can fully trust, a small group who see's the world and it's inhabitants the same way I do. I yearn for that connection with another human being, but I think that stems from my being an only child, I moved around so much that I got used to being alone. I've lost a lot of friends on this journey, and somewhere in the past year I refused to lose any more.
I'm gonna be a rock star. And it'll be so strange, yet so brilliant all at the same time. My mother suggested I look into taking acting lessons once I get back to Atlanta, get head shots ship around agencies, I was actually surprised by this idea, I mean it was in the plans but for it to be suggested by her was a pretty big deal. Of course I'm going to do that, I refuse to have any free time in Atlanta for the next four years, if I'm going to be in America I might as well take full advantage of it all. And acting lessons might be a lot of fun.
Queen's 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love' started playing, I immediately took iTunes off of shuffle, let's let the rest of the album play out. I've rekindled my romance with almost all of my beloved high school musical interests. Queen was definitely on the list. Freddy Mercury was such an inspirational being.
That and I have a huge thing for rock star's with cool ass nicknames, i.e.; Sid Viscous.
I want to mind fuck all of you, for centuries to come. I want my children to have the same aspirations, but if one of them is happy with owning a farm somewhere in the mountains of Cambodia I'd understand that as well. Do what makes you happy in the end you know?
It's all about striving for that eternal joy.
You want to break free from the shackles of misery and have the freedom to do whatever the hell you please. It's all about freedom, the freedom to be really, truly and completely unadulteratedly happy.
Well at least that's what I want.
What do you?
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