Deputize.

She was bored. But not in that 'I have nothing to do but lay here and be aimless' type of bored, nor that 'I'm so rich, I've seen everything, nothing entertains' sordid type of way either. She was bored with people, such an interesting strain of boredom, when your entire life has been spent traveling the world you see such measures of humanity that somewhere down the line nothing surprises you any more, you neither hate or love, you just observe, you just watch.

This boredom was killing her, she had decided that hours ago, but as her phone continued to ring and the world around her continued on it's mundane way of movement, she did nothing to fight off the impending sense of doom.

Then an idea occurred to her. She'd been without an able interest for so long, why not entertain herself? Why not fabricate one of some sorts?

She rolled over and brought her laptop closer to her efficient fingers.

@GarageGrime420 Have I told you how much I hate your name?

@KarmaPedestrian my birth name or my twitter handle?

@GarageGrime420 Both of them. I despise them equally. I despise your twitter "handle" a little more simply because you used the term "handle" to describe it.

@ KarmaPedestrian what is it you wanted?

@GarageGrime420 I want to fall in love with you.

She rolled over. Ignored her ministrations for a minute and pictured his face, wherever he was sitting, staring at his own laptop in complete shock. His look of complete fear sent a tingle up her spine, the brilliant affect truth had on men never failed to entice her. She was excited, and the idea brought a wave of joy into her body.

@KarmaPedestrian what?!

@GarageGrime420 It's quite simple. I'd like to fall in love with you. I'm bored. I think you could fix that.

@KarmaPedestrian i don't think it works like that...

@GarageGrime420 Why on earth shouldn't it? Love is about what you want right? I want you, I want love, the human mind is strong enough to lie to anything, especially itself.

@KarmaPedestrian but than that's it, it would be a lie, you just admitted it.

@GarageGrime420 It could be, you're right, but at least I'd be aware of this fact. A controlled experiment you could say.

@KarmaPedestrian you're insane.

@GarageGrime420 I do not refute this observation. So what do you say?

@KarmaPedestrian say to what?!

@GarageGrime420 Stop playing idiot. It doesn't suit you. Do you want to fall in love? Just for a little while? Until I find the human race beautiful again?

@KarmaPedestrian we're not as detached from emotion as you are Ray.

@GarageGrime420 I do love it when you call me that.

@karmapedestrian @garagegrime420 quit ur sap shit hoe. he dn't want u!!!

@DrkSxyChocolate69 Shouldn't you be off installing a weave or a lacefront, or some other form of aesthetic abomination?

@karmapedestrian fuck u bitch!!!

@DrkSxyChocolate69 Clock it in with your nightly prayers, it just might happen one day.

@GarageGrime420 You didn't answer my question.

@KarmaPedestrian why are we doing this on twitter? doesn't this fall under the category of your oh so important "face to face" communications?

@GarageGrime420 I wanted to approach you in the simplest way possible, wait that's a lie, I just thought of this solution, I didn't really think it through to be honest with you.

@KarmaPedestrian gee. thanks.

@GarageGrime420 Don't take offense, I just want to love you.

@KarmaPedestrian shut up!

@GarageGrime420 I thought it'd be easier than this, I know you've loved me since...

@KarmaPedestrian you ARE a bitch.

@GarageGrime420 Precisely why you love me. And why I want to love you. It's simple. Very simple. So what do you say?

@KarmaPedestrian ....fuck this. call me.

She rolled over and smiled, full of satisfaction at her easy victory. She placed her right hand on her chest, feeling the soft skin tingle underneath her finger tips, feeling the steady thump of her heart. She closed her eyes with the thought of him, this brand new candidate, if she was lucky this controlled experiment could spiral out of her hands entirely.

Then she'd finally have something interesting to bring back to her editor.

Literary gold.

(to be continued)