Marital Aspirations.

Dear You,

I don't know what your name is, or how old you are, but I have a faint idea of how massive your soul and your influence on my life will be. I know that you will better me, I know that I might fight that change, and I apologize in advance for any pain I might cause, I ask that you bear with me, I ask that you don't leave.

You'll be the father of all my children, the solitary source of my matrimonial energy, it's you or nothing at all, I'm willing to spend the rest of my life with you, with someone who could teach me, someone I can teach. We're on two different paths to be sure, you have your road, and I have mine, I may not ever want you in my line of sight, you may get sick and tired of my eclectic antics, but I know our destination is the same.

Love is not looking at one another, love is looking in the same direction.

We are parallel on our journeys.

I hope my mother loves you, and I hope you love me still after I divulge all the twists and turns in the cavern that is my heart. After my white turns to gray, after all truth is on the table. I'm twisted you know? Even more so because I know of it, because I can pin point the source, and it's affect on me, the picture I paint may be too graphic, but would I love you if you could not stomach it?

I want to spend my nights, under a soft glow of light, playing with hair, outlining the lines on your face and listening to your soul. Surrounded by the smoke of my Ghanaian home grown, the purest of pure, serene perfection. I want to feel pride when I look up at your face, I want to smile every time your eyes catch mine.

I want to see you and not think of sex, think of love, or even marriage, I want to see you and think of the universe, of the stars and of the planets, of this gift that I have been given that transcends all shackles of human vocabulary in any language.

I'm full of passion
I'm full of love
scratch the surface
see that little child within
with wide brown eyes
a messy fro
a gap toothed smile
brown skin running straight into your arms
knowing you'll never let go.

I know I won't find you today, maybe I already know you, I know our union will be one for the history books, eternal friends turned avid soul mates. Giving birth to life, iron sharpening iron, a constant source of ethereal energy.

I'm a Queen, and you're my King. We recognize the source of our strength deep within the other, the power for us to continue, the power that feeds my hope today.

I'm jaded, I'm a bitch, I'm brutally honest, I can be cold and uncaring, but I know, I know, when it's time for me to know. I know myself, I know the signs, I know all the lines in the road map of my mind. I know which road will lead me to this feeling, which road will lead me astray.

If I have known you, and I have hurt you, again I am sorry. But in the same breath, I'm not. From that moment you understood what you could about me, perhaps you even hated me, or stopped caring at all. It doesn't really matter, because I know I did too.

But if I found you again, if I recognized that strength again, I thank you for giving me another chance to prove myself. To earn this gift. To earn you.

Don't ever let me down, don't ever stop fighting for me, don't ever look in my face and dismissively whisper the words 'Whatever' because you will lose me. Because I will hurt. You're probably an introvert, or perhaps you're like me, perhaps you're interchangeble.

I can get up on stage and scream and shout when the time is needed, I can stay at home in silence with a book if I feel like it as well. I hop between introvert and extrovert quite easily, but that's just the way I was raised.

I've been all over this planet,
called so many countries home,
at a point I felt lost,
but my home is my heart,
my home is myself,
I understand that now,
and I know
when the time comes
I will call you
Home

I look forward to meeting you, or realizing that “IT” is you. I look forward to the joy, to the endless bounds of sanguine energy you'll provide me, I look forward to you rubbing my head, touching my face and thanking me for my naked body. I look forward to our moments in silence, I look forward to taking you home to my grand parents, to introducing you to my mother, I look forward to teaching you, if I have to, about my culture, about my history, I look forward to cooking you the spiciest food you have ever consumed. I look forward to learning all about you, about all the light skinned weaved out females who probably now hate me, I look forward to waking up to you everyday, I look forward to rolling you that blunt every morning. I look forward to your Haile Selassie's.

I look forward to sharing this world with you.

Now all I gotta do
is sit and wait.

And the day you come?

The day you are found?

Will be marked as an international holiday.

Love,
Frankey Acolatse.