Hear me roar.

Felt like the perfect time to release my thoughts. I haven't slept at all as usual, cleaned up my room, took a nice hot shower and now I'm simply enjoying the peace of simple existence, might try my hand at meditating in a little bit, for now I'll just sit and type out my heart.

So what's goodie? Leaving in 2 weeks, the thought of the warm blast of humid air as soon as I step off that plane has my heart all in a flutter, I'm overwhelmed with a new beginning. This traveling business is the life for me, new air, new vibes, but this time it's home.

I'm leaving some love behind this time round, a new friend that promotes a smile when I think about him, I like this energy, I like this peace.

I've been reading A History of God and it's only been confirming all of my deep suspicions as a child who spent most of her church career as the exile of Sunday school. Most of what we know today is based off of someone's narcissistic opinion, the very fabric of society is based off of a biased interpretation, we know nothing of the real and true doctrine of all three of the supreme monotheistic religions. We did everything we were told not to, we weren't supposed to sit and rationalize the uninterpretable God, we were just supposed to feel the truth and peace that is "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Religion was supposed to better us as a people, a union of mankind.

But that got lost in the abominable ego. All is forgotten in the face of man's self worship.

I feel vindicated finally having all those questions I asked as a child answered in such a complete way. And I'm fasting so it adds on to the spiritual power of this situation. A child in the continuos pursuit of knowledge.

This self reflection is feeding me quite enough.

I look at my bookcase and note the number of books I have yet to read, then start cataloguing exactly which articles of clothing I'll leave behind to enable me to take all my new books with me. Books over clothes every time. I love fashion as much as the next girl, but the one thing I always know about my baby Ms. F in relation to my personal style? I can make anything work, I don't need concrete articles of clothing to work my looks. Throw me in any closet and I'll know what to wear. Clothes don't really mean shit anymore.

I'll pick literature every time.

I think I've run out of things to say, or perhaps there isn't anything pressing on my mind today, I'm at peace, I'm happy. Isn't that good enough?

I'm also cramping like a mother fucker. But I'm strangely cool with it, I welcome it even, the pain is a continuos reminder that "I am woman", I have the capacity to continue the human race, there is power in this weakness, for years misogynistic values have dictated my religion, my very way of life and I always knew at the core of my very soul that it was all bullshit.

And historically? It is.

So I welcome this pain, I welcome this feeling of power that accompanies it. This is the lot I have, my sex has been underestimated for thousands of years and I can't wait to prove these archaic sexist doctrines completely and utterly wrong.

I can't wait to change the perception.

I can't wait to flex these muscles.

So fuck yes!

PMS!

CRAMPS!

BLEED BITCH!

Remember your eminence.