Scoresheet.

.

Whenever I sit down to write one of these pieces, I never really know what I'm going to say, but this feels needed. The ritual purge of whatever the fuck is going on inside of me.

So I'm still in Saudi Arabia, I've created a nice little system for myself, a cool existence in the middle of the blistering desert. Whatever I'm bereft of? Whatever feels missing? I find that all I have to do is release my wishes into the air, to give my hopes, dreams & minute aspirations to the Universe & it is given. All of my questions are answered, one way or the other.

It helps.

The sentiment that a being like myself isn't meant to thrive in a world like this is being combated daily. No matter what is thrown at me I continue onwards & I keep on swimming. It's not about survival anymore, maybe it never really was about survival. I don't need to fight for what has already been given to me. All I have to do, in the words of a dear sister, is remain & all of this confusion straightens out in a manner that befits me.

Not survival. Optimum existence.

Every step I have taken has awarded me with a lesson. Every person I have met has taught me something invaluable about myself. Every hiccup, every disruption, every single fuck up has been so necessary in the creation of the one who types this message.

I say message now, because in essence this is what these are. Letters to beings like me, humans that connect with me, who at one time thought they were completely alone & yet somehow found traces of themselves in the words that poured out of me.

As long as your heart beats along with mine we are connected & whoever you are, you are not alone.

Overcome every negative lick of fire that is being rained down on you & come out glistening like the pure fucking gold you are. You will continue & you will survive. The trick is in seeing the bigger picture of it all, even when you're being attacked, there is a message in that, in love? There is a message in that? Afraid? Ashamed? There is a lesson in that.

Tired? Worn out? Ready to give it all up? Look here bitch, there is a lesson in that.

For whatever reason, we exist now. For whatever reason, I fall asleep, I wake up. These might seem like mediocre & everyday things to you but the fact that they are in actuality every bit as simple as you believe them to be fucking baffles me.

I have no control.

& yet somehow, I am still here.

& yet somehow, I am still heard.

There are almost 7 billion human beings on this planet, how many do you think are blessed with this sight to see as you do? To feel as you do? To even recognize what does & does not fit as you do?

Be thankful for this consciousness, be thankful for your sight.

It keeps us higher.

It keeps us balanced.

In this sea of material nothingness, we are rooted in the souls of one another.

Only seek what is enough. Never more, never less.

Keep fucking swimming.

One day, all this mess will make sense.

You might dismiss this as a simple belief of an unconventionally eccentric individual & you might be right, you might say that it's utter shit & you might be right, but there you are working under the assumption that you have the right to dismiss a theory you have yet to try & test.

My methodology does not require your faith.

I am proof enough.

"Remain".