Reflections written in transit. (26th/27th)

I am tired, which makes me irritable, I'm not sure if it's this particular form of irritation that has me wanting to snap off the head of every American I see or if that's just how I feel today. I'm stuck waiting for about two more hours until my flight even registers on the screen, and then another three hours until we board. But I'm going to check and see if I can get on an earlier flight. I can't stay in this filthy jungle for much longer. I just want to get to Atlanta and get all this damn traveling over with.

But thank God I made it safely. Praise the lord for that. I saw Reggie Bush, our eyes met, he's a'ight in real life. Nothing special really. And I was too angry at the time to stop and really pay attention. If he were still around I'd stalk him to pass the time. I'm not really a fan, but shit it's something to do. God this place is hot. Why is this place so hot? I actually have a change of clothes in my bag. My flower dress. I could change into that and my sandals. That would feel a hell of a lot more comfortable. The naked-er the better. I have yet to really see anyone particularly attractive. My standards are very high now anyways so that could explain it.

Reading was brilliant fun, especially with the backdrop of Ghana killing the USA in that match. My Uncle brought me round all his friends, the one's I grew up with, the criminals and the shotta's. I felt like a little kid again, they all told me stories of how they'd be babysitting me and some cops would come, they'd grab me and run. Those times were in London though. My Uncle Charlie is my favorite. I always had a crush on him when I was little, and he hasn't really changed at all. Age suits him. But he's married now, has a little daughter of his own, beautiful girl. Beautiful family, I always knew he'd make a good dad, he was a brilliant Uncle.

He told me about a time my Uncle had left me with him, and the cops had come round his place and he hid with me underneath the staircase, and I kept on trying to get out and see who was at the door so he had to cover my mouth and ears, told me it was a game and it was Uncle Mawuli knocking and that if I stayed quite he'd give me my favorite treat, Ribena and bread.

I was very easy to please apparently. But then again, I was in love with him, so that probably softened my reactions to his attempts.

As I look around and see all the different types of people in this melting pot of a country built on stolen land, I'm kind of disgusted. American's are very razz.

Perhaps it's just New York. Perhaps it's just this airport. Perhaps I've already put it in my mind that I hate everything about America apart from Atlanta. And even then I only love a couple of days a month. But I'm here now and this is what I have to work with. I'm sure once I get some weed in my system the brilliant haze of positivity will shine through and this akata girl sitting diagonally to me eating her burger like she hasn't had food in 6 years won't seem as disgusting.

I just can't help it you know? Everywhere I turn I see excess, obesity and general nonchalance to basic health and appearance. How do you live like this?

This babe is scoffing this food down like a mother fucking monster. I mean really though? And close your mouth when you're chewing, was your mother a wilder beast?

THERE'S A FUCKING BIRD ON THE FUCKING FLOOR.

And it's just chilling tearing up this fry. I think it's nest is in the light fixture. That's just disgusting. But more power to it, I'm sure there used to be a forest here before the airport was built, it's just reclaiming it's birth right. Fight the power.

Germany defeated England 4 TO FUCKING 1? Damn bruh...

That sucks.

You suck.

Ghana doesn't.

ZING.

I'm actually glad to see a good old weave, can you believe it? I am so not ready for a lace front right now. I would scream/laugh/attack all at the same time. I feel like I've just been released from rehab to be completely honest. 2 months solid.

No sex. No drugs. No alcohol.

Complete detox.

I wonder if that fat bitch fed by America's marketing greed and general apathy for her own lifespan over yonder could check me into an earlier flight. They should have information kiosks don't you think?

This girl in front of me is eating a burger.

I couldn't even if I tried right now. Aside from the distaste for meat I could not and would not be able to stomach all that grease, all that unhealthiness. I've become too conscious of things like wheatgrass, calories, fiber intake, superior digestion to even contemplate eating that mobile heart attack. The bird is back. Actually, I think it's a different one all together. The white girl locked eyes with me and smiled. We both noticed the little intruder. I like white people sometimes. They can be very simple and easy to please, akata would've just scrunched up her nose and said something like “That is so disgusting!” in that heavily accented voice.

I'm being racist. Let me stop. I love American's.

Some days.

Fuck it's only 5. I have 4 more hours to go. This sucks so much right now. Have I mentioned that I'm kind of peckish? But the choices here are utter shit.

Burger King (BLERGH) Stone Rose (BLERGHER) and Starbucks. Which isn't really 'blergh' inducing but there's no fucking food at Starbucks and I sure as hell don't want a coffee right now. I guess I'll just starve. After all. “Nothing tastes as good as being thing feels” - Kate Moss.

Please don't live by that. I'm only partaking because nothing here suits my fancy and I'm food racist. Don't starve yourself to lose weight, you'll ruin your skin and gain weight twice as fast as you did before. Eat healthy and work out. There really is no other way to ensure eternal thinness apart from that method.

I repeat. DON'T STARVE YOURSELF.

ANOTHER bird is back. It's like a feeding frenzy. Just picking morsels from human's waste. A sad tale of man's silent war with nature.

Bastards.

----

So I almost completely missed my flight, but blessedly my timing was perfect and got on the next flight to Atlanta, first class seating too. Amen thank you jesus 1000 times over. Perhaps my negative energy was my doom, I should look at the best of all situations, no matter how foul and disgusted the human being's in it make me feel. I didn't pay enough attention to the boarding pass and didn't see my flight was supposed to leave from LaGuardia instead of JFK. And no one told me either.

I function fine without it (Sex). What I really want? Is some damn weed. As soon as I get that I'm crys. Weed and some friends, a good laugh, some bomb music. Like I can't wait to see Geronimo, my true friends you know?

I'm in love with life as I know it. I have photo shoots lined up, so much work to accomplish, school to sort out, it's just like an adventure. Just a different stage. My solidarity has proven lucrative.

I'm happy.

And that fact? Makes me even happier.

And my team won. My team beat USA. AGAIN.

So happy. Blissful even. I thank the lord for today, my yesterday and my tomorrow. Your love is never ending. My joy is in your light, that shines deep into the core of very being.

I thank you for this gift.

Amen.

PUMPED.

And lowkey absolutely knackered.