I hate people.
Just in general. The whole package of an average human being that I don't know in Ghana is something I simply don't want to be around. I'm an artist like that, I don't like strangers, because I don't know these niggas & more importantly I don't know why these niggas smoke.
Intentions are everything. Intentions start the journey to the action. So if I know your intentions & it's something I agree with then I know I can fuck with you as a person, because no matter what come afterwards your base is pure.
So there's always hope for you.
But not everyone has this base & more importantly not every one smokes.
To be more specific about my natural disdain for the rest of mankind, it's not as serious as I'm making it out to be in actuality, this formula can be found in my reasoning for always wanting to be alone, I like to stay in, I like to chill.
When people ask me what I like to do the only thing that comes to mind is;
"I like to chill & listen to music."
That is really my favorite activity, the average person doesn't understand this, at least around here they don't. I've never really liked people though, because I never really felt connected, I'm an observer & my observations over the years have come together to form the perfect approach in life to maintain the peace & serenity I require to function normally.
In other words. I'm ghost. Everyone sees me. Few actually communicate with me. But an active social life with continuous strangers would ruin all that, plus I'd have to talk to people. I loathe speaking to people, because, as I said before, not everyone smokes.
There's always a little bit of a disconnect when I try to vibe with non smokers, I always find myself leading them somewhere instead speaking on the same level & there are all these fresh smokers around nowadays, new smokers smoking for the wrong reasons.
Hippie shit is popular, it's something I have to face, I just wish they adopted the whole package, the knowledge & peace the hippies managed to attain. I feel like we just wear the skins of previous generations & the only thing really true to our generation is technology.
The definition of culture used to equate to the affluence of the nation in question's art. Technology is our art. Our actual artistic world is suffering. Like an un-favored step child.
Non smokers tend to be trapped by technology or unknowingly worship the god called Money.
I don't fucks with that.
That's why I don't fucks with a mass amount of people. I can't. Even when I didn't smoke. I couldn't. I'm just more comfortable with the quiet nature of a long time smoker because we're on the same ladder to the same enlightenment. Our journey is subjective to each of us of course, but the skeleton is the same.
No one else climbs.
This is the life of lover.
I've been writing more, actually penning something new, something relevant to my life now, I despise the idea of unfinished work on my part but I concede that I must let everything else go from now to work on this while the memories are still fresh.
I get so inspired when I'm high that I forget how inspired I got when I was sober, I've always had this talent, it's not something I just found, eloquence runs in the family.
My little cousin? The darling girl is a writer too. Beautiful little girl, she dances, she writes, she's just like me when I was her age. But she likes way more toffees than I did. I had my days where I would gorge but generally my money was spent on toys & clothes. I actually used to save you know? Bits & pieces add up, I learned that from an early age.
& my mother didn't support all my life decisions growing up.
I was a head strong child.
It helped.
When I think of myself as a child, the world I see is so foreign to me because it lacks the knowledge I have attained on my journeys, natural instinct reigns but no tangible truth & I can't fathom living & not knowing what I know.
Because then I wouldn't be happy.
I suppose in a way that's what reincarnation is like. You've played a game all the way through, you win, you restart. New owner, new system, new game. A continuous cycle.
What if that is how our souls travel?
I believe everything else that lurks in the dark unseen is residual energy, it's the worlds spiritual waste, bits & pieces of the cycle of life & death that grew to have no purpose that fell into the shadow of unimportant retirement. Lurking around us at all time, but completely impartial to our existence.
It used to be like us, alive & perhaps it will be like us again one day.
Energy cannot be destroyed.
There is a force, there is an energy that moves us, that gives us life, there is a force that moves an ant, lets a bird flap it's wing against the wind. A spark of life that is unexplainable.
What makes my heart beat?
My soul.
It's that uninterpretable sector of life, a side of us that will never be able to be fully interpreted.
But I believe my soul is God or a child of his energy, she gives life, she starts us, she continues us.
See how I switched the sexes? I don't believe God has a sex. That view is illogical to me. When they said "made in his image" I doubt they were alluding to our physical visage, that is all misogynistic folly, obviously the words suggest a more spiritual tone, it's a book full of symbolism & metaphors, use your damn imagination!
The Bible is a gateway into the spiritual unknown & in the spiritual unknown there is no truth because we know nothing about it. We have not created a concrete truth for it.
We can't.
But man doesn't understand that.
You can't paint a picture of God. Because you cannot see God, is there any instance where any man in that big book of ours ever looked upon his face? If he even has a face? God is unimaginable, why would he be confined to the limitations of a flesh sack like ours?
Not that I'm not grateful for flesh sack, it's the machine soul needs to live, I understand it's purpose, also my flesh sack is pretty hot, so I lucked out.
But not everyone can win.
I digress.
In mans attempt to define God we have killed him.
At least his presence in our hearts. God doesn't exist in our generation anymore, it's all a skeleton of our parents words, nothing is really understood, because God can't be found until you find him within yourself.
I was raised a Christian, church every Sunday, but another mans words always sounded dull coming out of my mouth, I walked off the path, called myself agnostic for a while & then somehow walked right back where to I started, walked back to my faith.
Because the more I read, the more I learned, the closer I got to my Source.
Everything comes from the Source & when you understand that, the world is a very different place.
It's a beautiful place.
& I'm happy here.
Happy Sunday loves.
Beautiful. 'Nuff said.
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