Further Away.

Nowadays I'm quite content within myself, even more so than I already was, this feeling of satisfaction has flooded all aspects of my life. It feels as though I have let go of all that used to define me & only look to one source for the understanding of my core. It is not my skin color, it is not my descent, it is not my sexual preference, it is not my sex, it is simply my existence.

My Being.

That is all I need.

This peace enables me to live in silence. Things I felt imperative to share before, things I could not hold within, my impulsive longing to share examples of my few glimpses of the same serenity are now gone from my mind, body & spirit.

I suddenly relish secrets. Information about myself that no one else really needs to know, whether it be a sudden connection born with another human being, or the glistening array of my thoughts, they are my own harvest to enjoy at my own dinner table. Everything seems more magnified now when I keep it to myself. The past is still convenient to penn about, my heart is still a beautiful thing to display within my art, but it is only a translation of my secrets, a coded language only I can truly decipher, my art should be in fact a mirror for others to see their own reflection in, to see their own truths magnified within mine. I am to be a portal, but in my creation I have my own little quirks known only to my specific strand of DNA.

There are so many different forms of transparency & my own is in fact the division of it that is without shame.

Shame: (Noun) A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.

I have done wrong to no one but myself in these 21 years, but I have forgiven my youth & my foolishness, grown to love every lesson learned with the understanding that without those trails I would not be here today. I would never have gotten to taste the peace of these still waters with out treading through the valley of fire.

So what I have I learned?

I have learned that everything is imaginary.
Your thoughts create your world.
Your pain, your suffering.
Everything is in perception.

Most live in a constant refusal to accept the reality that Is their Now. Thinking they are able to control any aspect of this life outside of the dominion of their constantly straying thoughts, they live under the false assumption of complete control of all outside of them, without realizing all they truly have is their Self's.

No matter the life situation you can choose whether to smile or lament.
Knowing one will help ease the trouble of the situation while the other will only exacerbate it.
Life does not happen to you.
You happen to life.

Yes, almost everything is out of your control, but you choose whether to live on your knees or die on your feet & then stand up, face this reality with courage & resilient joy & realize....

There is no death.