She didn't want to scowl, she didn't want to snarl, she didn't really want to do anything, in actually, she really just wanted to pack a bag and start walking. But she couldn't, she sighed as she looked at him, straight in the eyes as usual, hoping he'll see all the little fucked up clogs in her head and understand that this meant nothing to her.
There were a lot of words in her head that couldn't seem to make their way out of her mouth in regards to his last statement. He stood in front of her, a blunt to his lips, eyes darting all over the room and so chock full of disappointment. She knew this was her cue to apologize, and come up with some sort of excuse as the worldly script dictacted but she didn't find it possible.
What was she apologizing for?
Lying? She did that on purpose. Did she regret it? It wasn't enough of an issue to dwell upon. Everybody lies. He used to lie to her all the time. Back when, what were his words?, 'You ain't mean shit to me'
Back when it mattered most.
"Well we're in the same position then aren't we?"
She whispered. He paused, and looked at her incredulously.
"What have I done to make you not trust me?"
'Fucking existed'
She shook her head and turned away from his gaze. It wasn't worth it. Her life here was over, she was leaving, it didn't matter, the greatest fuck up had been achieved, so what on earth was all these little toils of bullshit to her now? She just wanted to laugh, was there anything wrong with that? Laugh at the idea that he thought she was that simple, and that fucking stupid.
Because if she wanted to fuck, she could've chosen anyone else in this city and he would've been none the wiser.
But none of it mattered now! She just didn't have the energy to argue or fight, to defend herself, to say anything really. It is what it is. Let him think whatever the fuck he wants.
Her life here was over.
Nothing mattered anymore.
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