Saw a new day coming, it looked just like me.

I seem to have forgotten a lot of myself. Or rather a lot of the things that used to stimulate me when I was barely aware, of my power that is. Jung says that as a therapist you should only follow the theories your patient reacts to, I find myself reading his suggestions & advice on how to deal with patients & applying them in my dealings with my self, or rather the unknown within me.

I have accepted my conscious as a simple window into the massive & never-ending expanse that is my Being. That it is only a small percentage, a representation of the true one & that my unconscious has a direct connection with the true one instead.

With this pain currently throbbing in my back I have begun to understand that perhaps this pain is my unconscious punishing the stubbornness of my conscious, punishing it for always ignoring the latter, making my ego understand that it has no power, it has nothing & it has no right to ever ignore it. To ever belittle it in anyway.

To listen to my highest form of intelligence; instinct.

It is right, I am guilty of all of those things, I did not understand my own corporeal reality. I took for granted every other portion of me outside of my mind. My Ego dressed insidiously as my quest for knowledge. Moonlighting as the unconscious.

This pain is a wake up call. This pain is to remind my ego that it revolves around the sub, not at all, or ever the other way around.

That it revolves around the Eternal & that vicious, fiery & uncompromising Selasie Amewusika Acolatse within is my direct path to the Formless one. To the Sovereign.

She is passionate.
Dauntingly so.
I, this conception of me, is nothing compared to her.

She is the Impossible.
She fuels all.
& she wants me to learn, by any means necessary.
She wants me to understand that this will not easy. That I must filter every part of the System out of myself before I am worthy for this gift.

Before I am worthy to see her True Face.

As a result of my dreams last night I fell susceptible to fear, it was as if I had forgotten everything I had been taught, I did not fight hard enough. I did not question enough. I did not observe enough. I was too overcome with emotion. I suddenly see my dreams as the home of my unconscious, she furnishes it as she see's fit to test me & drops my conscious in the middle of it all.

It's as if I am visiting, as if a door opens to a whole new reality, I process things as if I were awake, logically, rationally, I even act out of fear.

I am so easily taken up, last night I forgot it was a dream. I could not feel that it was a dream.

Perhaps that is what happens to me in my conscious life, that, when immersed in all around me I forget this is a dream too. I fall too easily in the delusion.

I am weak.

She only endeavours to make me stronger & training is not easy, victory would be worth nothing if that is the case.

I pray for the strength to overcome fear. I pray for the insight to understand what I am to learn & see. I pray for knowledge to discern & remember.

I pray to be completely in the hands of my maker. I pray his will continue to be done. I pray every thought, sensibility, step & word I emit comes from his grace.

All Praise Be Unto Allah.