Drake....

On the cover of the new Fader.... even though we love his music, find him attractive we do not, he's honestly (in our opinion) a cross between:

And....

Just saying....

I refuse this shit.

This is a crime against humanity. Apparently their "Ninja" slippers. We call them "Douche" ones.

We don't give a hot yellow damn...

How many Jay-Z stans pull out their Blue Print addition notepads and write about a million well versed death threat raps to me after we say this, but this picture right here? EPIC. FUCKING. FAIL.

Look. We don't rock with the Run This Town jam. It's so fucking basic. BA-SIC. Trying to put Rihanna's crowing self back into the "good" spotlight after her Tina Turner debacle and Kanye.....you know....how we feel about Kanye..... And we know you love Jay-Z and all that but come on, even your stannage shouldn't blind you from the "Eh" ness that is that song. And don't make the arguement that it's still getting play. Because Jay will always get play. AND SOULJA BOY gets play too. So.

Again. This shit right here? FAIIIIIIIIL.

What in tarnation...

......the fuck are we looking at? The fuck is on your head? You can't even say "what" the fuck on this. You just gotta skip it and go straight to THE fuck? THE FUCK PHARRELL?

Do we have to write another letter?

Baby you know we love you. You know we always will. But you are making it SO HARD for us right now. What are we looking at? That hat? That...that monstrosity on your otherwise perfect head is killing us...and that 80's pornstache is us giving herpes! This is neither wavy or giving us the business in any way, shape, or form.

Someone get Jesus on the line, rebuking needs to be initiated.

(via)

Jesus take the wheel.

My face? That whole time? (O_o)

STILL GAY.

SUPER DUPER MEGA PAUSE ON THAT ASS.

NIGGA SHIT!!!!

SHAVE THAT SHIT!!!

Okay so less than 10 seconds a go this raggedy looking coon in a wife beater attempted to chirps to us, and as you can note from our description of him we were most definitely NOT ON IT. But that isn't what we're talking about, at least not all of what we're talking about.

This foolish boy in a wife beater raised his arm and his right pit was the most shocking and terrifying accumulation of hair we have EVER come across which forces us to talk about this shocking lack of personal grooming. 

Who the fuck thinks resembling a cave man is at all attractive? We're all for manly men, I mean for goodness sake even the guys in those Tom of Finland comics were all brawny and hairy but we have to draw the line somewhere and we draw it with your fucking pits. 

If your armpits look like they could be harboring some sort of an unknown life form in side it's dark crevices we beseech you to trim, shave, wax do whatever the hell you have to do to make yourselves fuckable again because in the 21st century no one wants to fuck with a personal grooming illiterate. 

So please. Please. Please. Do us a favor and be sexy again.

Franki xx.