Andre...what exactly is it that you do at Vogue?

Here is an excerpt from the upcoming "The September Issue". And all I have to say to this particular scene is;

I refuse this shit.

This is a crime against humanity. Apparently their "Ninja" slippers. We call them "Douche" ones.

We don't give a hot yellow damn...

How many Jay-Z stans pull out their Blue Print addition notepads and write about a million well versed death threat raps to me after we say this, but this picture right here? EPIC. FUCKING. FAIL.

Look. We don't rock with the Run This Town jam. It's so fucking basic. BA-SIC. Trying to put Rihanna's crowing self back into the "good" spotlight after her Tina Turner debacle and Kanye.....you know....how we feel about Kanye..... And we know you love Jay-Z and all that but come on, even your stannage shouldn't blind you from the "Eh" ness that is that song. And don't make the arguement that it's still getting play. Because Jay will always get play. AND SOULJA BOY gets play too. So.

Again. This shit right here? FAIIIIIIIIL.

What in tarnation...

......the fuck are we looking at? The fuck is on your head? You can't even say "what" the fuck on this. You just gotta skip it and go straight to THE fuck? THE FUCK PHARRELL?

Do we have to write another letter?

Baby you know we love you. You know we always will. But you are making it SO HARD for us right now. What are we looking at? That hat? That...that monstrosity on your otherwise perfect head is killing us...and that 80's pornstache is us giving herpes! This is neither wavy or giving us the business in any way, shape, or form.

Someone get Jesus on the line, rebuking needs to be initiated.

(via)

We have a problem.

Again. SO SORRY for the delay, life's been pretty hectic lately and we just haven't had the...motivation. But no longer! Although promises can't be made, because you never know when a huge bout of utter laziness will hit.

But we are back today....with an issue.

Now. Some of you. Well a lot of our faithful readers are from Ghana/Nigeria and SHOULD know about the magazine Canoe. It's a quarterly publication and one of the most (in our able opinions) inspiring and successful African based publications. We had the pleasure of meeting the editor a couple of years ago and nothing negative can be said about the magazine as a whole.

Now. We at FrankiSayz have a favorite issue of this magazine that we occasionally go back and attempt to browse and time and time again when we go to website and click on the link the bullshit shortchanges us and a good 3/4th's of the magazine is missing.

So can someone PLEASE inform these people that this shit is not working. Excuse the language but it's been months, and we are getting desperate, there's a specific model that we'd like to showcase on the blog and that's the only known editorial we have access to with him featured in it.

But until then, you guys will have to make do with (Disclaimer: If you are a heterosexual homophobic male it is recommended by the Surgeon General that you do not partake of this) this.

And we're back again for the second time.

We know. We've been slacking. That's all understood but we have good reasons. In fact we have at least 4. Here they are in no particular order;

1. We don't have school right now, which induces us to be RIDICULOUSLY lazy. And when we say ridiculously lazy we mean dress up for no reason and smoke a spliff in 6 inch heels lazy.

2. We've been getting good on a regular basis. Now for all my single girls out there you understand how jarring it is to go from sex every once in a while to instant huge every single fucking day, that shit takes energy from you. Honestly we don't even know how we got used to this back in those relationship days. Like even thinking about sexual relations gets us tired as fuck now.

3. We went to JAIL. And everyone knows convicts don't contribute anything to society when they first get out, there's this adjustment period you know, where they have to get over the idea that no ones going to molest them if the drop the soap or look a bitch in the eyes ya feel us?

4. North Korea is trying to blow us up. We had this fear for a while now and we don't understand why the man is running his mouth off to King Obama like he don't know that nigga will press that button on his ass quick. You know Barack is sitting in his office like "I wish a nigga would".

Anyways. As I've been saying. 4 ridiculously good reasons for this fashionable and starving...and now stupid high fashion student to not blog as frequently. But nevermind all that now because we are officially back in business.

First thing on the list? Take out Rihanna.



Now most of you know that FrankiSayz are HUGE Rihanna stans, and I only type huge in all caps because of that whole CB situation but everyday more info is coming out that the bitch may just be insane and maybe he was in fact protecting himself, but that's neither here nor there in our opinion as we lay eyes on that picture above.

Yes. That is Rihanna looking like a lost corner street prostitute conversing with our own personal Mecca, we shouldn't say conversing because clearly there's some bajan voodoo going on in the picture, see how she's looking at him? If that's not a "You bout to be my next baby daddy" gaze I don't know what the fuck is!! There's another pic too, of her inappropriately touching him without our permission and let me tell something to you my dear internet...this bitch is going down.

Her hot yellow mullato Jezebel ass is bout to get burnt.

Team mother fucking Chris bitch!

Kim Jong-il nominates heir.

You know that crazy little asian guy who wants to blow up America? Yeah apparently he's nominated his 3rd and last son to run the country after his death...if he's not already dead. My question is...isn't...it supposed to be like the first born son? 

Read the article here. 

Kinda ridiculous. The only real communist dynasty left run by a plethora of rabid war hungry attention whores.

Just saying...

Jesus take the wheel.

My face? That whole time? (O_o)

STILL GAY.

SUPER DUPER MEGA PAUSE ON THAT ASS.

NIGGA SHIT!!!!

THE FUCK?!

WHAT THE FUCK?! JIMI HENDRIX WAS MURDERED?

I'm sorry. Give me a minute...I can't seem to stomach the idea that there could've been a time where I could've worked some sugar baby skills on the glory that is Jimi if it hadn't been for a salty, greedy and all around incompetent manager. 

The rock legend Jimi Hendrix was murdered by his manager, who stood to collect millions of dollars on the star's life insurance policy, a former roadie has claimed in a new book.

James "Tappy" Wright says that Hendrix's manager, Michael Jeffrey, drunkenly confessed to killing him by stuffing pills into his mouth and washing them down with several bottles of red wine because he feared Hendrix intended to dump him for a new manager, according to a report in the Mail on Sunday.

In his book, Rock Roadie, Mr Wright says Jeffrey told him in 1971 that Hendrix had been "worth more to him dead than alive" as he had taken out a life insurance policy on the musician worth $2m (about £1.2m at the time), with himself as the beneficiary. Two years later, Jeffrey was killed in a plane crash.

Hendrix died in September 1970, aged 27. An ambulance crew found his body in the Samarkand Hotel, west London, in the room of a woman called Monika Dannemann, whom he had known for only a few days.

Hendrix was alone in the room, lying on his back, with the gas fire on and the door open. There was no record of who had called the ambulance. His inquest recorded the cause of his death as barbiturate intoxication and inhalation of vomit, and recorded an open verdict.

Describing the night of Jeffrey's confession, Mr Wright wrote: "I can still hear that conversation, see the man I'd known for so much of my life, his face pale, hand clutching at his glass in sudden rage."

Wright claims Jeffrey told him: "I had to do it, Tappy. You understand, don't you? I had to do it. You know damn well what I'm talking about.

"I was in London the night of Jimi's death and together with some old friends... we went round to Monika's hotel room, got a handful of pills and stuffed them into his mouth... then poured a few bottles of red wine deep into his windpipe.

"I had to do it. Jimi was worth much more to me dead than alive. That son of a bitch was going to leave me. If I lost him, I'd lose everything."

John Bannister, the surgeon who dealt with Hendrix at hospital, has said he was convinced the star had drowned in red wine, despite having very little alcohol in his bloodstream.

"I recall vividly the very large amounts of red wine that oozed from his stomach and his lungs and in my opinion there was no question that Jimi Hendrix had drowned, if not at home then on the way to the hospital," he wrote in 1992.

SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT. 

(Source)

....What?

I have no idea what he's saying but this song is so sexy. Honestly. I'm in love with his dork ass.

I just died a little.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!! Spectaculars ol' gay ass. "Doing it for the ladies"? Some ol' mother fucking bullshit, I know which queens you doing it for baby and it certainly ain't the female ones.

The fuck?

They.Are.RUBBER. And it totally trips us out. 4 inches...of RUBBER. 

Fuck with it!

Cop 'em here. 

....is the world ending?!

Christian Lacroix files for BANKRUPTCY!!!

Oh my dayz. we're completely astounded. Our stomach is totally in knots and we're about to start bawling, he is such a brilliant talent to see his house of fashion go down this route doesn't give us much hope for the future. 

So we are officially begging Kanye West to get one of his girlfriends to start rocking Christian Lacroix, (It's so fucking Amber) and bring him back up to float. 

We need Christian Lacroix in our fashion industry future. Kanye you owe us that much after that debacle at the last fashion week. 

You embarrassing little...

Jessica...Simpson?

We really don't want to question what the hell is going on in the universe when a chick like Jessica Simpson pops out heel's as bad as these so we're just gonna go with it and stan for the chick. 

Cop these heels here cause we're about to go out and buy a pair. 

Franki xx. 

Soooo....

We were just googling bullshit the other day and we came across this chick that has us asking all sorts of questions. The chicks name is Kat Young and she's a porn star and she looks like this;

And apparently she is the BIGGEST asian porn star in the industry right now, for goodness sake she even has her own fleshlight and we just don't GET it! She's honestly not that attractive and she looks like she's fucking EIGHT YEARS OLD. So is this what's hood on the greasy streets now? People having fantasy's about 8 year old girls so they're enlisting the help of legal child like porn stars to get 'em off? 

We don't know about you, but we like our sexual fantasies to be legal and not disgusting. 

Nigga's ain't shit. 

Franki xx. 

P.S - Please click on the link and gag along with me.

You people are MAD!

What the hell happened to you when they took you from our country? What happened to you when they put on the boat and took you to Jamaica. This shit is called "daggering" and it's a fucking dance, a very "popular" Jamaican dance, and next weekend when I got to Black Lions I'm going to carry a knife and bleach in my purse for ANY nigga who even thinks about attempting this shit with me.

"You people have no training."



Got Jesus?

Cocaine in the AIR?!

So apparently you can hop on over to Madrid and/or Barcelona and get yourself a nice little high because the oxygen is fucking laced with COCAINE.

Spanish Study Shows Cocaine in the Air in Madrid and Barcelona

And can you believe it? There are higher concentrations over the weekend. The scientists say it won't affect you, but we both know they're just saying that shit so the tourist boards won't rip 'em a new one.

So should we book a flight out? And how much cocaine in the air does Atlanta have?

Franki xx.

Ummm...

Utterly and completely terrifying and is guaranteed to change your fucking life. Astounding absolutely astounding.

We would like a copy please.

Check out the pics here.

Franki xx. 

The fuck?

Slumdog Millionaire kid stars haven't gotten shit. 

That movie has made over 200 million world wide so why on earth haven't these kids even seen a penny? The boys home was demolished for goodness sake! What the fuck is wrong with you people?! GIVE HIM A CUT!! 

Money makes people so fucking ugly. 

Franki xx.

What in fucking TARNATION!?

We don't care about a DAMN thing in this Real Housewives of Atlanta HOT MESS picture apart from the shoe's on ol' horse faces feet (Sheree, Herree, Whatever the fuck her name is) That's right, we have no words for the fuckery that is standing next to her and cracked out white bitch in the background. DO YOU SEE THOSE SHOES?!

FrankiSayz would like to report an obvious crime in the city of Atlanta, we have been wronged in such an irreversible way that no words can describe our utter and complete aggravation. 

DO YOU SEE THOSE SHOES?!

Bitch WE KNOW, WE KNOW you copped the last pair! Those bitches were up on cutesygirl.com running for a $57 dollars, a steal in our able fucking opinion and we were about to purchase these motherfuckers when we were informed that they were "all of a sudden" out of fucking stock. 

And now we see this shit on this diagonal STRANGER'S feet? 

We're declaring war on Sheree because I know that bitch copped the last pair and she isn't even rocking them right!?! DO YOU KNOW HOW DISRESPECTFUL THAT IS?!

So we're gonna need our homegirl Nene to do what the fuck she does best and teach this manly looking bitch a lesson. 

Don't play with our fucking shoes!

Franki!!!! 

P.S - What the fuck is this nigga wearing? Someone please explain this to me. I'm confused.